Weeknotes #48: Blessed Foibles
Shifting gear - from changing ourselves for the better to looking with love
You are reading Coaching Weeknotes by Roxana Bacian: explorations at the intersection of inner-growth, coaching practice and organisational change-work:
‘What if the kind of inner development we most need today is to move beyond goal-seeking as our primary societal modus operandi?’
- Jonthan Rowson, The Inner Development Goals On Trial
Have you noticed how, as the years go by, you start to recalibrate your expectations of what amount of change is possible or even desired in your own behaviour/personality? I’m getting to an exciting point where I might actually take pleasure in my foibles. They are starting to feel adorable. All the ways in which I struggle, no longer so much something to rid of, but something to remind me of the humour and art of it all.
I’m interested in what happens when we no longer rid ourselves of the undesirable. The things we are told make us unusual, immature, not quite there, not what is expected. I wonder what creative windows might open up if we instead learnt to relate to these qualities in ourselves and in others anew.
I didn’t foresee that in working as a coach I will see so many different people witness their own foibles and how the culture we live in and coaching encourage us to ‘get better’, ‘do better’, ‘do more’, ‘change’. What is perhaps ironic is that, often times, even after years of ‘working on’ some of these percevied ‘shortcomings’, they persist. Like old friends that tug at our heart-strings in oddly familiar ways.
What if instead of getting better we got better at not getting better?
A forgiving gaze. A compassionate salute. A more-generous-than-we-can-muster habit. A leaning in to the others in the room. A curiosity about ourselves and how the mechanisms of us keep us ticking across the years. This softness so contagious. So needed when the going gets tough in teams. When difference feels like a crevasse. What if we don’t resolve this one? But what if we learn a lot about who are in the process? And what if who you are and who they are is sort of, sacred, exactly as it is.
🔥 NEWS:
Take a gander at the latest version of my website. I’m starting to articulate the latest developments in my practice working with teams and organisations who are going through moments of big transformation. Still a work in progress but perhaps, exactly where it needs to be right now. Read and share with colleagues.
🤓 This week I’ve been learning with:
Ula Ojiaku, Dave Snowden, Building Capability for Managing Complexity (video)
👀 Looking forward to:
13th Nov, All Day - Online (UK) - Annual Animas Transformative Coaching Summit 2024, Animas Centre for Coaching
18th Nov, 2pm - Online (UK) - Conflict at the Intersection: Exploring Intersectionality, Leap Confronting Conflict
22nd Oct, 6pm - Online (UK) - Illuminating the Shadows: Shedding new light on how teams find coaching helpful with Sebastian Fox, London Coaching Group;
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🌱 Work with me:
Organisational and Leadership Partner, Associate Certified Coach ICF
I'm currently available for new projects and/or roles with a focus on social impact leadership, organisational culture and health, relational approaches to the development of collaborative and compassionate teams.
I am an associate with two leading coaching organisations in the UK supporting leaders to deliver strategic, structural and cultural change through 1-2-1 and organisational coaching sessions. Insured, ICF Associate Certified Coach with 5 yrs+ experience with clients across UK/Europe/Australia.
You can learn more about my approach and previous work on my website.
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💌 Stay in touch:
If you enjoyed reading this post, let’s continue the conversation:
E-mail: roxanabacian@gmail.com
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